


the search for color: fates

by PhyllisCake



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Colorblindness, Drabble Collection, Experimental Style, F/F, F/M, Gen, I suppose, Japanese names used, Platonic Relationships, Platonic Soulmates, Pre-Relationship, Self-Indulgent, Soulmates, Spoilers, all non-kamuisexuals and Crimson and Flora, almost every playable character, i would call this abstract maybe, knowledge of the characters probably would help
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-12
Updated: 2017-05-09
Packaged: 2018-08-22 00:08:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 5,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8265467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhyllisCake/pseuds/PhyllisCake
Summary: Drabble collection of an AU in which people become colorblind when they turn five, and can only see colors again after they touch their soulmate.Will be alphabetical, and will tag the characters as I add chapters.





	1. Aqua

**Author's Note:**

> This is revelations route, with twins Kamui(M) and Corrin(F).  
> I'm using all Japanese names except for Corrin for fem avatar. I have the Japanese copy, so yep.

Aqua never really put much stock in soulmates or love of the romantic sort. She always had something else, more pressing things, to worry about. The one regret she had regarding soulmates was that she would probably never see her hair’s color, the color she inherited from her mother and loved so much, again. Because Aqua did not believe she would survive to meet the one who shares her soul, if she hadn’t met them at this point already. And maybe that was a good thing: fewer attachments to the world would make it simpler to do what she had to do...

So, when she meets her cousins for the first time she can remember, she is taken off guard. But Corrin freezes for only a moment, before laughing, full of joy, and embraces her. Aqua hugs back reflexively, and when they pull apart, she touches her pale blue hair in wonder. Who could have guessed this would happen?

Kamui is smiling as he watches them, but Corrin easily notices the wistful emotions in his expression, and she pats his shoulder comfortingly.

As Aqua watches the two, that throwaway thought from so long ago comes back and hits her full force; it would have been better to have not met her soulmate. Because ignorance is bliss--

But when her two cousins face a heartbreaking choice, and they choose the most difficult path of them all, well, Aqua is truly grateful because they have given her the opportunity to help the world that she could have never had on her own.

Soon after, the second thing Aqua never thought would happen, happened. Meeting her soulmate was already shocking enough; but then, she met someone, and inexplicably, unexplainably began to love him. She hesitates to act, to do anything at all, because even now, Aqua realizes her chances of surviving this war to the end isn’t very high, and she would never wish such loss on anyone. But then, Corrin tells her not to be afraid, to live life as it comes. And if she seemed wistful as she said this, Aqua didn’t mention it.

She takes Corrin’s advice, and never looks back.

A long, long time in the future, when life has settled, Aqua takes a moment to think about soulmates. She thinks, soulmates are meant to save you, lead you to happiness. She is sure of it, because that's what Corrin did for her.

* * *

  _Thank you, Corrin._

_Huh? Why are you thanking me?_

_Hmm...no reason. I guess I just felt like it._

_I see...well, thank you too, Aqua! Hehe._

_I'm really glad I met you..._

_I know! Because I'm really glad I met you, too._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *slightly edited  
> in my opinion this chapter will probably be one of, if not the, worst because it's really hard for me to write Aqua's character well. But if I didn't upload it like this, I would probably spend forever trying to fix it and get nowhere fast.  
> btw Corrin and Aqua aren't together. I have Corrin with someone else.
> 
> two chapters for the first day :)
> 
> Next: Asama


	2. Asama

Asama had never really believed in the bond soulmates shared. Everyone always talked about how strong that bond was, and how nothing else was like it. But he never bought into it. If soulmates supposedly shared their souls, that must mean they would be pretty similar, right? And Asama would hate to encounter someone like himself. It’s not like he was ignorant of the fact that he was very difficult to get along with, after all.

So when he happens across an almost fatally injured tenma rider that fateful day, his world was changed, flipped on its head--who was he kidding? Asama really didn’t care that after he helped her on a whim, he could see the blinding red of her hair, the gentle green tones of the trees, and the bright blue sky. He didn’t care at all, and would have been perfectly fine going on his way. But then she had to come back and find him and order him to become her retainer. He couldn’t say he didn’t expect it. After all, he is one of the rare few who cares little about soulmates.

But then, he realizes she did not find him for their supposed bond. Because his lady, Hinoka, still cannot see in color. Asama isn’t too surprised or hurt at all. All this does is confirm to him that he need not concern himself with the idea of soulmates. However, on the battlefield, he watches as Hinoka fights and protects so fiercely, taking hits for their allies, for her other retainer, and even for himself, when they are supposed to be the ones protecting her. It always gives him pause.

Asama still does not believe in the unfailing bond between soulmates. But, he acquiesces, perhaps there is something to the idea when he stops and thinks about those moments of selflessness from his lady.

And years later, when he meets someone, someone like his lady but not...someone who lives for the sake of all others and not only her soulmate, Asama catches a glimpse of the feelings people say a soulmate bond should have evoked. So, he chooses his own future, and knows it was worth the wait.

* * *

 

_Hey, Asama._

_What is it, Lady Hinoka?_

_You’ve always gone on about not believing in soulmates, but...I guess you’ve finally found yours, huh?_

_Sorry to disappoint, but she isn’t my soulmate._

_What? For real?_

_Yes. But don’t worry. I am perfectly happy, soulmate or not. Because I don’t need to rely on some mystical bond to live my life the way I want, with whomever I want. But, well, I suppose it did bring me to this point…_

_Huh?_

_Oh, nothing. Nothing at all..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so starts my obsession with red, apparently…
> 
> Next: Belka


	3. Belka

Belka had no delusions about her soulmate. Because she _has_ no soulmate. Belka didn't even know a thing like soulmates _existed_ for years, because unlike everyone else, she was born colorblind, and no one cared enough to explain the concept to her. But she was thankful, as much as she could be. After all, in her line of work, unnecessary connections would just make her life more difficult.

However, when the first princess of Nohr spares her life, Belka thinks for the first time, maybe having  bonds isn't such a bad thing. But Belka still does not mourn her lack of a soulmate, since there is no point in wishing for something that will never exist.

In her new job as a retainer, Belka keeps to herself most of the time. She stays up to date on things happening in the castle, though--a death here, a new employee there…--because that is her job. But when she hears that Lady Camilla’s younger brother has recruited a thief caught in the castle, well, Belka goes to investigate eventually. He may be a threat to her lady after all.

It turns out to be Zero. She asks him why he’s here. He calls her a hypocrite, then proceeds to make lewd remarks that Belka ignores. She’s never understood people like him, even though they have similar pasts. They don’t interact very often after this meeting, and Belka could almost forget he existed.

But then, one day, Lady Camilla comes back from the border, absolutely seething. She and the other royal children gather their retainers and their soldiers, and they march towards the battlefield. And before she even realizes what is happening, Belka finds herself in the middle of battle.

She mindlessly slashes with her axe at everyone who approaches, but she does not see the arrow flying towards her in time. Belka’s wyvern roars in pain as it drops. When it hits the ground, Belka is thrown off.

She hears someone yelling her name, but her vision is blurry as she tries to stand up. Someone grabs her hand, practically dragging her towards safety.

When Belka comes to, her mind feels completely clear, and her body is in no pain. She thinks, the healers must have done their job really well, and she looks to the entrance of the tent to see Zero. She says nothing to him, simply getting up to leave. Zero stops her. He asks, doesn’t she want to know? And Belka has no clue what he means. He is about to say more, but he glances at the look in her eyes and stops, silently standing aside to let her out. She writes it off as Zero being as strange as ever.

Later, Lady Camilla takes her two retainers and defects to the twins’ side. Belka is slightly worried for her lady’s safety, so she rarely leaves her side, even when Luna decides to go off on her own.

When Luna comes back with news--that she’s met her _soulmate_ \--Belka notices a brief flash of _something_ in Lady Camilla’s expression, before she smiles and asks who it is. While Luna and Lady Camilla talk, Belka stops and thinks about soulmates for the first time in years. She wonders what Luna will do now, since she already has a husband. But, she supposes it isn’t her business and drops it.

As the war drags on, and more and more people join them, Belka notices that she overhears a lot more conversations about soulmates. But she avoids these conversations as much as possible, because she doesn’t understand them the way others do and thinks it is unnecessary for her to worry about.

When Lord Marx and Lord Leon and their retainers arrive, they somehow manage to blend in seamlessly with the rest of the army. Belka ends up spending a lot of time with their retainers, because three of them are Luna’s friends. She does notice that Zero seems to be actively avoiding her though. Until one day, he just stops, and instead starts stalking her.

Belka can easily shake him off her trail, so she does that for a couple of days. She finally confronts him, and what he says completely throws her for a loop--but she feels some emotion rising from deep inside her--

* * *

 

_...Why?_

_Because we are similar, but unlike me, no matter what you think, you are a truly good person._

_You’ve changed, Zero…_

_Is that so?_

_Yes...but I’m not...your soulmate._

_...Hmm, well, I never liked the idea of entrusting my future to someone based solely on some bond I don’t understand. And I’ve chosen you. So even if you reject me, I’ll stick with my decision and live alone forever._

_...You’re lying. But... thank you. I will accept...happily._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Color doesnt play a big part in this one… but much foreshadowing for other characters here…idk why i put so much...but i really like this chapter (except maybe the end. I kind of lost it at that point)
> 
> I really love Belka and Zero’s support. I was reading it, and I actually felt that they might have met before since they talk about each other having changed. So in this AU they’ve met a few times before.  
> I borrowed heavily from their S support for the end.
> 
> Also, Belka’s concept of soulmates is the romantic kind, since she never bothered to find out more.  
> and there’s more than one side to this story…:) it’s pretty obvious but there’s still more than the obvious, actually.
> 
> So many notes for this chapter….;;
> 
> Next: Benoit


	4. Benoit

Benoit was scared of a lot of things. Ghosts, the dark, getting hurt, being alone...even meeting his soulmate. Whenever he thought about finding the person who shares his soul, he always thought in the back of his mind: his soulmate would be disappointed with him.

Despite this, Benoit never forgot to be thankful that he had a soulmate, no matter how frightening the thought was. Because not all people are so lucky; Benoit’s best friend, for example, did not have a soulmate. So he never took his bond for granted, knowing how much she and others suffered from having no soulmate.

He and several other border guards and knights had been sent to chase down the twins and their army one day, which was pretty unusual for them. Benoit was incredibly nervous. He always disliked fighting. And when the youngest princess showed up all of sudden and accepted him just like that--well, Benoit was confused. Very confused. But then he joined them anyway, and later, he spotted Charlotte had joined the twins as well. He was glad he had not left her behind.

Benoit was sitting in the mess hall with Charlotte a couple days later. She was complaining to him about all the things she always complained about before she decided to go off and do her own thing. So Benoit was sitting alone, when he felt this menacing aura behind him. He froze, and slowly--slowly--turned around. Standing there was the most terrifying woman he had ever seen (and Charlotte could be pretty scary herself). She glared at him and greeted him relatively politely. Benoit was more confused and terrified about this than he was about Princess Elise’s sudden appearance. This woman was being polite...while glaring at him. Something must have shown on his expression, because she said not to worry about her face. It would go away soon. Benoit nodded uncertainly, made an excuse, and beat a hasty retreat.

Oboro was her name, he later found out.

Benoit was returning from training a couple days later when he ran into her again. She greeted him, nice as always--but still with that terrifying expression. He slowly inches away, while Oboro seemed confused. Then suddenly, Oboro turns to him, accusingly asking if he is going to attack her. The spike in hostility in the atmosphere freezes him in his tracks. She glares at him, studying him and his face. She asks if he’s  _ actually _ afraid of her.

Benoit’s lack of response tells it all.

Oboro just  _ looks _ at him. She says that he shouldn’t be scared of her. So he tries to stop. And miraculously--her face drops the frightening expression, and she smiles. Saying that it wasn’t so hard. Oboro laughs and jokingly calls Benoit a scaredy-cat, and he manages to smile back.

Charlotte had been busy recently, so Benoit spends a lot of his time making charms. He makes them for himself, for his friends and comrades. He is on his way to deliver some when he runs into Oboro once again. She asks him what he is doing, so he shows her his charms. He is handing one of his favorites to her to show her, when their hands brush slightly.

And then the colors they have long lost rush back into their world, and Benoit is terrified once again, but Oboro looks at him and smiles.

* * *

 

_...Are you disappointed? _

_ Huh? What are you talking about? _

_ I mean...that I’m your soulmate...a Nohrian. And just...someone like me… _

_ Don’t be silly. Even before we found out...I fell in love with you. I may hate Nohr, but you are different. I’m sure I’ll never find another person as kind as you are, Benoit. _

_...Thank you. I swear...I will protect you and make you happy. _

_ Hehe...I’ll be counting on you. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant to have this written waaay earlier but I'm lazy and busy which is not a good combo. This is going to happen alot since I don’t have ideas/inspiration for all the characters. [which is when i start borrowing from support convos…like this]  
> Plus, I feel like my writing style changes slightly for every chapter...sigh. Even in the MIDDLE of chapters ;;
> 
> Next: Camilla


	5. Camilla

The first time in years that Camilla saw colors was also the last time she ever saw her soulmate. Since Camilla and her siblings were young children, they had received no love from their family. The king’s concubines all turned their children against each other, forcing them to kill each other as soon as they could hold weapons.

So Camilla was never close with any of her siblings, certainly never spent time with them except to kill. (But she never forgot their faces)

As the number of the royal heirs dwindled, Camilla’s mother became increasingly more aggressive. Soon she had Camilla sent to assassinate just another one of her half-siblings.

As dreary and unfeeling as her life was, Camilla had one thing she looked forward to: meeting her soulmate. But when she finally found her, as Camilla held her sister’s hand as she slowly bled out, something in Camilla cracked. She gently set her sister’s hand down, and ignoring the blood-- _ it was red _ \--staining her clothes, Camilla quietly rises to her feet. She automatically begins walking towards her mother’s room, as she always does after an assassination. But this time is different. She didn’t even realize she had made her choice until she was standing right outside her mother’s door.

That was the day she killed her own mother.

Years later, her precious, darling siblings tell her she was the catalyst. She was the one who brought them together. But they remember the detached killer she was before that sometimes still seeps through, and they ask, why? Camilla smiles at them, but does not answer. Because her soulmate shared her soul, and she is the one thing Camilla will keep close and locked in her heart, away from even her beloved brothers and sister.

* * *

 

_ Camilla, Camilla! What do you think your soulmate will be like? _

_ Hmm...I don’t know. But, Elise, I’m sure soulmates are meant to be wonderful and beautiful and everything you could ever wish for. _

_ Really? _

_ Yes...and I’m sure they’ll treasure you--forever. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this universe, originally Camilla really doesn’t feel much of anything for her family, but she always holds her siblings’ hands as they die after she kills them, and she doesn’t really know why she does it, but she does.  
> as short as it is, I really like this chapter and had it written a long time ago
> 
> Next: Charlotte


	6. Charlotte

When Charlotte was still a little girl, who still believed in silly fairy tales and knights and true love, she could not wait for the day she would wake up colorblind. Sure, she would have missed the colors, but the day she woke up without them marked the day she could begin to search for her soulmate. Someone out there shared her  _ soul _ . To a girl like Charlotte, it was a dream come true.

The day before her fifth birthday, she went to bed so, so excited for the next day. But on her birthday, she woke up--and the sight before her was just like any other day. The colors were still one hundred percent visible to her. Charlotte, ever the optimist, thought,  _ Maybe it’s late. It’ll happen for sure tomorrow! _ But it never did.

So she grew up bitter, with crushed hopes, unable to see the beauty in the world anymore, throwing herself into solely caring for her family. If she would never find her soulmate-- _ you never had one _ her mind whispered--then she would find love on her own. But even her goal of love began to change. If she should choose her own husband, then she decided, she would marry into a well-off family to take care of her own, who supported her for all those years.

However, in the back of her mind, she truly believes her efforts are fruitless. How could she compete with those who had soulmates? Even though she  _ knows _ that soulmates are platonic more often than not; her own lack of soulmate has planted a giant seed of inferiority-- _ am I not good enough? _ \--that she hides behind her confident, snarky self, or her sweet, gentle mask.

Her family are the only people who know about her situation. But she can’t talk to them about how it feels, can’t burden them with her thoughts. Eventually she can’t take it and breaks down and tells Benoit, another knight she works with. It turns out to be a good thing; Benoit becomes her best friend. But as much as he listens, as much as he cares about her, he cannot truly understand how she feels.

Her pent up emotions finally come to a head when she meets him, who was one of those fortunate enough to have the chance to be with their soul mate, and finds out he treated that bond like it was nothing.

Then Charlotte explodes.

She screams and yells at him. She attacks him in a rage. She sobs, it’s not fair. He makes her furious that people like him have soulmates, while she is  _ not good enough _ . But she knows she is a hypocrite; isn’t she the one trying to ‘steal’ people’s soulmates?

But then, when Charlotte manages to calm down a little, he explains. He and his soulmate had tried being together, and it didn’t work out. He still cares about her in his own way and she cares about him even if they don’t seem close at all, but the bond they have is one of trust and friendship. In no way did he mean to disrespect her or their bond. Theirs was just a little different than other people’s. In fact, he believes their bond was proof that there is no such thing as destiny; people choose their own paths.

Charlotte stares at him after he is done, and perhaps she can feel light and free for the first time in a long time. Her eyes are still red, throat dry, but she is no longer crying. And maybe, just maybe, she thinks she can learn to appreciate the beauty and gift of colors again.

* * *

 

_ I’m surprised. _

_ Well, I’m sorry, I guess. _

_ It’s not that... _

_ Then why? _

_ You just didn’t seem like the type to care so much about this type of thing. _

_ Shut up. _

_ Hah...You’re pretty interesting. _

_ Hmph. Like you’re one to talk, Saizou… _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmm...well this is like the second chapter i wrote when i started this story...idk. i kind of like it, but there are some issues. but i'm putting it up anyway since idk how to really fix it now. btw this could be gen or romantic. idk. im saying idk alot lol  
> i havent mentioned, but most of the soulmates and non-soulmate relationships are ones i really like, but not necessarily my favorites for that character
> 
> also, probably going to take a while for this next chapter
> 
> Next: Corrin


	7. Corrin

Corrin had never fallen in love before. How could she, trapped with her brother in a castle? She didn’t mind too much, as long as they were happy. Unlike her brother, who openly hopes to leave and meet his soulmate, she keeps silent on the subject. Secretly, though, Corrin was a dreamer, and she too hoped--that the day she could see the world in color again would be the day she finds love.

She never talked about soulmates with anyone but Kamui, and only when he brought it up. The few times soulmates were brought up in front of her other siblings, Corrin could see a sadness in Camilla, emptiness in Leon, and resignation in Marx. Elise was fine, but she didn’t understand soulmates in the same way Corrin did. So Corrin avoided the subject with her family.

Soulmates plummet even further on her list of priorities when she and Kamui are permitted to leave the castle. Corrin, as content as she was, is ecstatic. But then, the two of them are pulled away from Nohr, and taken to Hoshido, where they learn of a second family. It is all too confusing and she sometimes want to scream, or at least complain to Kamui. But every time she looks at him, Corrin can see the hope that still has not faded in his expression, and her frustration dies down.

Later, Corrin and her brother hear breathtaking singing by the lake, and spot a girl with long, flowing hair. Corrin grabs the girl’s hand, because something about her singing just _struck_ her--and then, color. Corrin forgets everything she was intending to say, but she doesn’t even care. She hugs Aqua, laughing almost hysterically, but happily. Corrin lets go, smiling as she watches Aqua inspect her beautiful blue hair in disbelief.

Kamui realizes what has just happened, and steps back while smiling softly. Corrin immediately notices, and places her hand on his shoulder in silent understanding. It is ironic, the way that the world works. That she is the one to meet her soulmate first, instead of her brother.

And maybe it’s not love at first sight, but as the time she spends together with Aqua grows, Corrin finds herself falling. And it _hurts_ , because she can see Aqua loves her, but not in the same way. She thinks it’s pathetic of her to give up before even trying, but Corrin had never been the big believer in soulmates; that was Kamui.

She gets over it. It takes a long time, but she does it. So when Corrin notices Aqua watching Corrin’s best friend with an expression she recognized but had never seen on Aqua, the sting is dull, short, and easily ignored. She wants her soulmate and best friend to be happy; Corrin had noticed how desolate Aqua had been acting recently. So she approaches her, and tells Aqua to live without regrets. And it works. Aqua is happy.

Corrin keeps her distance, giving them space. In that time, she feels nostalgic, so she spends most of her time with either Kamui or their old servants. It takes time, more time than with Aqua, but Corrin eventually realizes that she’s falling again. It’s the genuine need to bring her happiness, to wipe away the pain and sadness hidden underneath that make her realize it.

She thinks _maybe it’s the blue_ and then laughs at herself. She knows the real reason.

So Corrin takes her own advice.

* * *

 

_I gave up once, and I don’t want to ever do that again, leaving only if’s and maybe’s behind._

_But...Lady Corrin, I’m not...there’s nothing...good about me._

_No, that’s not true. You’re kind, smart, determined and hardworking...you’re you. I like you for who you are, Flora._

_…_

_Flora?_

_I...I l-like you, too..._

_So, will you let me take you out once?_

_...Okay._

_Thank you._

_Don’t thank me. Thank_ you _...Corrin._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> May go back and edit Aqua’s chapter after this. maybe.  
> And F!Avatar/Flora yas. their support convo is better than the M!Avatar/Flora convo. Not many details here though…  
> on the other hand I cant write romance...
> 
> Next: Crimson


	8. Crimson

When Crimson was young, she loved the colors. She would spend time making pretty pictures (especially with the shiny stones she found) while her parents were away, which was quite often due to their roles as knights. But then she turned five, and the colors disappeared. Crimson hated it. She did not particularly want a soulmate if it meant having to give up her colors.

But she did have one. So, with the loss of colors in her life, Crimson turned to observing her parents. She grew older, and taught herself to fight. She saw the way her home was being oppressed by Nohr and its king; and colors became a distant memory, pushed to the side for more important things.

She eventually becomes the leader of the resistance. Her parents had died in the last few years, and she had little left to lose.

She hasn’t thought about colors in years.

Crimson (unknowingly) meets the first prince of Hoshido later on. When she finds out,  _ Oh, _ she says,  _ really? _ And life goes on. To her, Ryouma is simply her friend, status be damned. She respects him, he respects her. That’s all she needs to know.

During one battle a couple weeks after they met, in the ruins of Cyrkensia, she and Ryouma and the resistance are fighting the Nohrian army. But then, Ryouma’s lost-and-found-and-lost-again siblings are there, and they put a swift end to the battle. They claimed an invisible enemy had been there. It was ridiculous, but the look on their faces convinced Crimson there was at least  _ something _ to what they were saying. She gave them the benefit of the doubt when Ryouma refused to believe. As she and Ryouma leave, Crimson turns around once and waves. She meets the eyes of...Kamui, was it?...and grins. He responds with a cute, bewildered expression and Crimson laughs. Out of the corner of her eye, she glimpses the other twin, Corrin, nudge Kamui’s side teasingly. Crimson chuckles to herself and turns away.

When she, Ryouma, Ryouma’s sister Hinoka finally join up with the twins and their group, Crimson find the two. She grins, introducing herself, shakes their hands. But when she takes Kamui’s hand, it takes her a moment to realize she is looking into shocked red eyes. Crimson tightens her grip in surprise, and Kamui winces. She drops his hand, and remembers.

They get along really well. He is the first person she shows her long lost hobby of creating art with colorful stones. And with all the time they spend together, slowly but surely, they inevitably fall in love.

A couple months later, Crimson receives quite a shock. She was pregnant. They were in the middle of the war! Crimson could take on enemies on the battlefield anytime, but this was something else altogether, and she was frightened. She wasn’t the first or only person to have a child during this war, but still, Crimson had never thought she would reach this point.

But in the following months, she grows to love this child so much. When Kanna is born, Crimson knew she would never regret it for anything.

Even when she is looking up at Kamui’s pale, scared expression, the love for him and her daughter swells, and the only regret she has is that she is leaving them behind.

* * *

 

_ CRIMSON! _

_...Au..gh...Ka...mu-i… _

_ Don’t talk! I’ll...You’ll be fine! _

_ No...I...Take c-care...of Kan...na… _

_ No, p-please...Kanna needs you...I need you...please don’t leave me… _

_ Kamui...I lo--ve yo...u... _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so late
> 
> Kinda disjointed...plus no deep realms here. Kanna is just a baby when Crimson dies.  
> I feel like this chapter is missing something, but this series for me is pretty much experimental anyway...
> 
> Next: Elfie


	9. Elfie

They share similar sentiments. Her desire to protect, his desire to save. Elfie can see why they are soulmates. Even so, they are solely good friends, nothing more, nothing less. Elfie doesn’t have time for love or romance, after all.

She dedicates her whole life towards serving Lady Elise, and towards protecting her fellow comrades. Her life would be meaningless if she failed at this. Elfie isn’t unreasonable; she knows she cannot protect every last person. But if it’s in her power to do so, she will.

If she is asked what she thinks of her soulmate, or soulmates in general--and she has been asked about it before--Elfie would say that they mean everything and nothing. She thinks of soulmates as people who can better each other, but just because they can, doesn’t mean they will. It all depends on choices, because a soulmate could become just like any other stranger if that’s what they choose. Elfie appreciates her soulmate for who he is, because she and Harold complement each other well, push each other to improve. But she cares about him the way she cares about any of her other friends, would die for them just the same as she would die for him. So she really can’t say that their bond as soulmates is any more special than a normal bond of friendship. Few people can accept her views without protest, so Elfie usually keeps quiet about them when not asked.

Otherwise, Elfie doesn’t think about soulmates very much.

Later on, she takes a particularly heavy injury protecting one of the Hoshido royal’s retainers. He finds her after the battle and berates her for protecting him, someone she barely knows, almost at the cost of her life, confusing Elfie. She says she would do it for anyone. He tells her--almost insultingly--that her definition of friends and allies is so ridiculously over the top that she may as well be _everyone’s_ soulmate. Then he immediately follows it up by saying he’s a hypocrite, since he doesn’t believe in soulmate bonds anyway. Elfie just stares at him funnily as he leaves her alone. She never thought someone would actually insult her for putting everyone else before herself. Maybe for taking soulmates for granted--she had heard Charlotte the other day--but not for that.

So when he comes back again, Elfie doesn't protest when he decides to protect her. It won't change the fact that she'll still save everyone she can, including him--it's what she lives and breathes for, after all.

* * *

 

_You’re an idiot._

_Okay…_

_You treat everyone the same. That's great for you and all but what kind of idiot gives their life for a stranger?_

_...I do._

_I_ know _. Ha...if you're out there, protecting everyone, who’s going to be protecting you? Your soulmate?_

_No. I don't need protecting from anyone. Harold knows that. We protect people together._

_Wow. That's new. But still--I suppose I'll have to watch your back._

_Huh?_

_I'm certainly not going to go out there saving every body in exchange for my life. So if you die, who will protect people? I'll have even_ more _work to do. Might as well just save myself the trouble and keep you alive._

_...All the time?_

_Yeah._

_Thanks, I guess._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOL so awkward. Was that a marriage proposal? ;) idk~~ But I love Asama and Elfie. I'm not particularly satisfied with this, but it's the best I have rn.  
> But yeah, this took forever. I just. Idk. it was hard to write. Every time i thought i should sit down and write it, i would come up blank...i have a few (very few) other people already written, but i’m still following the alphabet so it’ll be a while since next is Elise which I’ll also have trouble w/ probably...  
> and this collection is becoming less about soulmates lol. Woops i guess.  
>   
> Next: Elise


End file.
